Focus on What is Important

Ongoing research continues to show that three of the biggest challenges facing people today are: time pressures, financial pressures and the struggle to maintain a healthy balance between work and home. Most people struggle with these and other challenges because they simply lack focus in their lives and activities. They procrastinate or allow themselves to be easily sidetracked. Most of us become involved in too many different pursuits so we can’t really do anything as well or as timely as we would like.
This article isn’t going to attempt to tell you what to focus on. Those decisions need to be made by the individual and by couples. A separate article on Goal Setting will give some tips on selecting, and modifying, those things that are most important. But each of us has things we already know are important. How do we put more emphasis on those?
Despite many opinions, and excuses, to the contrary, life doesn’t just happen to you. Life is all about the choices you make and how you respond to every situation. If you are in the habit of making bad choices, disaster often occurs. Successful people have successful habits, unsuccessful people don’t!! When you develop a chronic bad habit, life will eventually give you consequences. Negative habits breed negative consequences. Successful habits create positive rewards. Successful people have successful habits. That’s just the way life is.
So let’s look at our habits. Many of our daily activities are habitual. Some studies show that up to 90% of our normal behavior is based on habits. This includes things like the way you dress (which shoe first), brushing your teeth, the route you take to work, how you greet people, how you answer the phone, where you sit in church, whether you get to places on time, and on and on.
If we can systematically improve one habit at a time, and turn that new behavior into a better habit, we can gradually but dramatically improve our overall lifestyle. To change habits, you must strongly commit to change - and you must follow through. People who dabble at change will quit after a few weeks or months. And they will usually have a long list of excuses why it didn’t work out for them. Remember, successful people don’t drift to the top. It takes focused action, personal discipline and lots of energy every day to make things happen. The habits you have now and those you develop and nurture from today forward will ultimately determine how your future works out. Rich or poor. Healthy or unhealthy. Fulfilled or unfulfilled. Happy or unhappy. The choices are yours, so choose wisely.
One thing to remember is that your outward behavior is the truth, whereas your inner perception of your behavior is often an illusion. Your habits and belief systems are a product of your environment. The people you hang around with and the environment you live in strongly influence what you do. If you hang around with people who are always complaining about how bad everything is, you will start believing at least some of what they say. But if you surround yourself with people who are strong and positive, you’re more likely to see a world full of opportunity and adventure. If you can’t put enough positive influences in your life right now, find some good motivational tapes and books. The library is a great source. Try some autobiographies or biographies of people who have traits you admire. The average American doesn’t read non-fiction books after they get out of school. Its easy to be much better than average. Another helpful tip is to get to know some older people who can be role models in various areas. They are usually happy to play the role of teacher or mentor and can help you make the adjustments you need to improve your habits and your life. Again, the only requirement for you is that you must commit to change.
Look at your life and your newly defined priorities and see if you need to set some new boundaries. Begin asking yourself regularly if what you are doing right now is helping you to achieve your goals. This needs to become a habit and it will mean you have to say NO more - maybe a lot more. Don’t be surprised if the person who gives you the most trouble with your new boundaries is YOU. The biggest battle is usually right between your own ears. To solve this problem, you have to be very definite and determined to make your new behavior work. Other people will also try to sidetrack you. Sometimes they will act hurt; sometimes they will act angry. The telephone has to be controlled also. What you are doing needs to be treated as important which means that the person calling doesn’t always need to get your top priority. Voice mail is a great tool to help smooth this transition. Mainly you have to change your thinking and you have to take action. It all boils down to the old saying that you can’t keep doing the same things and expect different results.
Decide what is important to you, write down a plan, be completely committed to making it work regardless of setbacks, and watch the results. The people who really accomplish more than others do so because they FOCUS their efforts on the things that are most important to them.
Success isn’t magic or hocus-pocus
It’s simply learning how to FOCUS.
Some of the thoughts and ideas in this article were taken from The Power of Focus by the guys who wrote the Chicken Soup for the Soul series.